Five of Pentacles

When I pulled this card to paint, I felt my heart sink. It is one of my least favorite cards. Typically it means some sort of physical or financial loss. I decided to paint a scene I see often in Santa Fe that creates much anxiety in me. Outside the Sanctuario de Guadalupe, there are always a group of day laborers waiting in all extremes of weather, hoping to be hired. There is a feeling of desperation, as they try to flag down passing cars.


While working on the painting I reflected on the loss I was experiencing; it was my deceased mother's birthday and I miss her. Fives are about struggle, but  are also the mid-way point. As I painted the giant statue of Guadalupe behind the men I realized that the archetype of the Great Mother is always there for us if we need her. She in her thousand manifestations, watches over us. 

VIII STRENGTH

It is my birthday today and my year card is Strength. It was pure synchronicity that I pulled it as the next card to paint. A couple of years ago when I was visiting my family in South Africa we visited a game reserve. We encountered two lions mating. It is an all day affair, they mate then rest then mate again. At one point the lion looked directly into my eyes and we held our gaze for several seconds. It was the most amazing experience, an awakening of something deep in my soul. Since then my whole life changed. I had been a rather timid, shy, introvert. I have become more assertive, much stronger and able to lead. This coming year I face all sorts of wonderful new experiences where I will need this Lion energy. The Strength card gives us permission to be our most magnificent selves, totally at ease in the world; confident and brave. 

FOUR OF PENTACLES

When I thought about what to paint as the Four of Pentacles I kept seeing a child building a sand castle on the beach. I had a moment of doubt as this is an unusual image for this card. But  as I am trusting all messages and visions that come to me in this process of creating the Tarot de St. Croix I painted it knowing that it's meaning would become clear.   
In this moment the child is the Emperor of her domain with the surety of her castle well under-way. Yet, there is some-thing very tender about the concentrated effort which is so temporary. The ability of a child to focus on creating a structure that only exists in the moment is a good lesson in not holding on too tightly to our plans and possessions. Instead we should enjoy the process of creating and allow the project to change as it will. 

Queen Of Pentacles

I grew up in South Africa and even though I moved to New York after I finished high school to attend art school and made the United States my home, I have never lost my love for Africa. The rich colors of the cloth, the exotic fruits, the brilliant sky and lush vegetation and the beauty of the people vividly remain with me.

The Queen of Pentacles is the sensuous embodiment of abundance. The Queen of Sheba inspired this Queen of Pentacles. Ripe fruit, fragrant flowers and a gold palanquin represent the riches from the Earth. Her bearers are two virile young men who adore their beautiful, generous Queen. In the fields behind her grows the sacred herb of Ethiopia and it’s golden buds are plentifully stacked on a gold platter. 

Seven of Pentacles

The time has come to evaluate what it is one is striving for. The goals are clearly in sight and almost within reach. What effort needs to be taken to move into this final phase. Like the leopard an assesment of the situation is needed before that last powerful burst of energy is unleashed. 
In my own life I am well into this big project of creating a tarot deck. It now has a life of its own and there is a sense of spiritual awareness that something much larger is happening. A number of situations have come to me that help me discern what is best for my work. I have questioned whether to leap at every opportunity offered or to wait for the choicest? I observe how grasping for attention can backfire, clawing bursts the dreams. Leopard medicine teaches trusting ones instincts and leaping over obstacles gracefully. Now, I am simply watching this deck mature as I create. 

Seven of Cups

The Seven of Cups asks you how you can take your fantasies and dreams to the next level and make them real. This new year of  2012 is the dawning of a new era so they say. I am dreaming of all the things I wish to see manifested on this planet: world peace, the end of suffering, a time when we and all Earths creatures and living things will thrive. What huge dreams and yet I believe we can create the world we wish to live in. 

When I picked this card at the beginning of the year I knew it was to time make my fantasies real in some way. I painted seven cups with tea-leaves representing my visions. One thing I wanted was to travel. Already several of these “fantasies” have manifested with an invitation to present my deck in progress in Portugal at the Tarot Interhouse Conference, a visit to South Africa to visit my family and a Tarot Tour to Italy. I am excited to see what else is in the future.

Seven of Swords

This is a tricky card. Words can construct something that is actually based on nothing and at any moment could collapse possibly hurting those who have believed in this false idea. How often have we believed in promises that were just a crafty way of getting our support? For me painting this card was a wake-up call. I tend to be quite gullible - eager to believe the best and constructing my own fantasies around these so called promises, only to be disappointed. There is often a feeling of uncertainty - have I deceived myself believing in false fantasies or have I been misled? The lesson is to go within, pay attention and seek the truth. 

Queen of Wands

The Winter Solstice is a powerful, magical time for me. Ten years ago on this day a Mountain Lion crossed my path. It was also on the Winter Solstice that I took a shamanic journey to Isis and She instructed me to paint the tarot. Today I have just completed the Queen of Wands - for me she signifies regaining a sense of power. She is an intuitive charismatic leader who inspires others with her artistic vision. This card is about moving into the female sun energy. 

Five of Wands

The Occupy movement came to mind when painting this card. I think of those people out there at this cold, dark time needing fuel to keep that inner fire burning bright. The Five of Wands represents struggle in life. Reality clashes with ideals. Patience and perseverance are needed in order to accomplish goals.

Four of Swords

I have been mulling over some difficult situations - driving myself a little crazy to the point of insomnia. I decided what was most needed was to withdraw and quiet this busy mind. By sitting and meditating I am able to shield myself from those piercing thoughts. I imagine my aura creating a strong but transparent boundary where I am able to rest and heal. Painting this card was a perfect lesson.

The Four of Swords means take a rest from your challenges.

Three of Pentacles

It is 6.48 here in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I have just watched the Sun's shadow engulf the moon. An entire Lunar Eclipse. As the shadow descended slowly taking almost an hour I thought of the old era fading out - the patriarchal world that served us well but that will now be eclipsed by a more loving and nurturing time: the golden era. As the shadow slowly lifts from the moon - the feminine re-emerges. In this new era we will nurture our beloved earth, learn how to live in harmony with each other and all of nature. We will collaborate in creating the most beautiful and life sustaining way of being.


The Three of Pentacles is a card about working with others. The triumvirate of skill, knowledge and spiritual awareness will make manifest the abundance that is possible. If we all bring our talent to creating a better world we can do it.


This is my thirty third card - a potently magical number. Three times Isis appeared to me after pulling this card so I knew it was time to paint her image. She embodies the mother archetype - the magic Goddess who can "re- member" a time when the earth was whole and healthy. She can help us re-assemble our world. Blessed be.

Ten of Pentacles

I dance with a group of about eighty fellow dancers twice weekly at  Embody: Santa Fe's ecstatic dance community.  The music follows a wave from flowing to staccato, chaos through lyrical to stillness. A journey of the soul through the expressions of the physical body. The endorphins pulsing through the room are palpable and expressed non-verbally through dance. As the dance becomes more ecstatic the feeling of oneness expands and love and joy and bliss overflow.

One evening I danced for inspiration for my painting the Ten of Pentacles. As I lay in stillness to the vibration of gongs I realized that I had just experienced the Ten of Pentacles - a complete journey through the physical realm - I felt exquisite gratitude for life in this body.

Ace of Cups

This is a time of great potential. It is full moon and tomorrow is the very auspicious 11/11/11. As we stand on the brink of a new era - I vision a world of peace, harmony with the earth, abundance and great inspiration. It is the eve of the Golden Age. I feel the fullness of this time, a surge of emotions particularly love, gratitude, hope and joy.

This is the first card I painted in my fabulous new studio. When I had first seen this house - the big double garage cheered STUDIO! Six months later, after overcoming some obstacles, hard work and more money than I hoped, with the help of Tony, we did it. I am thrilled to in the creative flow in this new light filled, productive space.

This card is a toast to fulfilled wishes.

King of Pentacles

The King of Pentacles represents wisdom, knowing what you want and how to get it and enjoying the fruits of your labor. 


Thinking about a King for this card I went on an internet adventure searching for inspiration, almost immediately King Solomon popped up. I found out that he was known for his wisdom as well as his riches.  Solomon surrounded himself with many wives and concubines who turned his head toward idolatry worship - in particular Ashtoreth who is also identified as Astarte. She is the Goddess of fertility and sexuality. The Song of Songs is full of erotic Goddess imagery. Queen Sheba, from Ethiopia had heard of King Solomon's great wisdom and riches and came visiting bearing gifts of herbs and gold. The Rastafarians believe they are the descendants of the union between the two. King Solomon built the first temple in Jerusalem using an architect named Hiram who some believe to be the father of Free Masonry.


There is so much symbolism packed into this card - I hope you have as much fun finding it as I did painting it. The synchronicities I experienced as I painted this was that I was in the process of building my own temple (my studio), feeling so grateful to be able to get what I wanted. Also when I read about the Song of Songs, the Rose of Sharon plant is mentioned - I had six huge blooming Roses of Sharon plants. I certainly feel abundance all around me.

Page of Wands

This young page is forming an alternate reality through his own creative abilities. Youthful energy has the power to transform the old paradigm into something new and playful. He uses his wand to make magic - a mushroom cloud of spiritual exploration rather than destruction. The Page of Wands is full of zest, connected to nature, able to use his passion to open new channels for the divine to flow through. This card gives permission to try something adventurous, to follow your bliss and express your individuality.

The Sun

I was excited when Jude Alexander of The Tarot game asked me to paint The Sun as my next card. The Sun is a special for both of us as it was the first tarot card she ever saw and it is my birth card. Our creative collaboration fills me with optimism. When I began to paint The Sun I noticed synchronicities everywhere; in my garden masses of sunflowers bloomed and I felt at one with source energy. I had a sunny meeting with my ex who also happens to be a Sun. We were married 22 years ago today. When I was interviewed for a documentary I felt I radiated creativity and joy.

But then things turned; I had a falling out with my beloved and realized that all I projected was not light but sometimes a rather strong shadow. I felt that old familiar self doubt clouding my

confidence. I thought I had finished The Sun but I realized that it lacked power. I went outside and stood facing the sun - it blinded me with it's brightness, when I came in I noticed my large painting "19, 10, 1" based on my birth cards and I knew what I needed to do: make the figure a silhouette. Show that the shining self also has a shadow side. I think this card is about the wholeness of ourselves in nature - that symbiotic union of our brilliance and our humility.

Page of Pentacles

Today is my son Noah's twentieth birthday. He returned in the wee hours this morning from a six week solo photography trip to New York, London, Israel and Jordan. Noah's natural ability to meet and befriend people and his appreciation of beauty skillfully portrays a message of wonder in his photographs. The Page of Pentacles signifies an opportunity for one's dreams to come true through diligent and creative work by applying youthful, exuberant energy.

Nine of Cups

 Shortly after moving into my new home I did a ritual to welcome angels. I lit a white candle and placed a piece of paper underneath where I had written my wishes. Every day for a week when I lit the candle I felt their presence and when I pulled the next tarot card to paint and got the nine of cups - the hairs rose up on my arms as it means wish fulfillment. I quickly made a sketch of the angels filling my cup but it took me a while to begin the painting as I was so busy unpacking, creating my new space and hosting a family reunion.


Finally last week I began to work on the painting and I realized that most of my wishes had indeed come true. My house truly felt blessed, we had a happy family reunion and I had loving connections. However it was hard to get back into painting after a couple months break - my painting felt flat.  As I painted the angels I gave thanks for the wishes granted and requested something to keep me motivated and inspired as I continue working on this deck. The following day I received a proposal for nine more cards to be featured on Jude Alexander's Tarot Game and my painting sprang to life - the energy was there .... wish fulfillment.

Queen of Swords

Crystal clear clarity. Doing what needs to get done. I can be a procrastinator when it comes to any left brain activity preferring always to paint or dance. But as the closing on the house I am buying approaches I find myself stepping into a new role, taking care of business. It is empowering and exciting. Shortly after pulling this card to paint I was looking through one of my old visual journals and found a sketch of Athena - Goddess of Wisdom - she appeared at the right time demanding my attention, helping me to stay focused.

Queen of Cups

In the words of my wise friend Duija:


"Culturally we are taught to avoid having awareness in our body and so avoid 'uncomfortable' feelings.  Instead we learn to be in our head, convincing ourselves that the person who brought this feeling up is bad or wrong. This is a shame because the more we have a yes to our feelings and stay with them, the easier it is to digest them and the more we can be authentically in the moment with what is."